Neurodivergence in software engineering

Creating genuinely inclusive workplace experiences where we all have the conditions to perform at our best

We wanted to write an article about neurodivergence that would bring practical insights for people who experience one or more aspects of neurodivergence whilst also being relevant for coworkers and managers.

Who better to ask for help with this article than Gemma Rodgers, who has been on her own personal journey with ADHD and suspected Autism and has taken her perspectives ‘on the road’ through public presentations and interviews? We set out to interview Gemma for this piece, which turned into a conversation about our lived experiences rather than formal questions and answers.

At Human-Centric Engineering, we are interested in helping organisations create working environments where teams of software engineers can perform at their best. But that’s not easy; the conditions that suit one person may not suit another. The needs of a neurotypical individual can differ significantly from those of someone who is autistic, has ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, or other neurodivergent traits - or from someone managing mental health conditions such as Bipolar Disorder.

Before we dig into the details, let’s meet Gemma and also share our personal interests in neurodivergence.

Gemma Rodgers

“I was diagnosed with ADHD around four years ago, though I had suspected it for much longer. The realisation truly hit when my daughter's school raised concerns about her difficulty sitting still. She was always on the move - constantly fidgeting, shifting, and pacing. At first, I saw it as the typical restlessness of a four-year-old, but as I looked deeper, I recognised it as a stim - an unconscious way of managing hyperactivity, boredom, or focus.

That discovery made me question everything I thought I knew about ADHD. I started understanding it as a different way of experiencing the world - one where some nervous systems crave movement and novelty more than others. I also learned how heritable these traits are, as much a part of a family’s genetic makeup as height or eye colour. For years, I had managed well enough, but when the structure of office life disappeared during the COVID era and I transitioned to remote work, my coping mechanisms unravelled. That was when I decided to seek a formal ADHD diagnosis - and also realised I had many autistic traits.

Looking back, the signs had always been there. As a child, I was hyperlexic, completely consumed by words - their meaning, their specificity. And yet, while ADHD and autism occur equally across genders, most diagnoses still go to boys, whose traits tend to be more visible (like throwing chairs at teachers). The way these conditions manifest is shaped by how we are raised and socialised.

I often reflect on this double standard. An autistic boy fixated on trains might be seen as obsessive, his interest framed as dysfunctional. Meanwhile, a girl with the same deep passion for words is more likely to be praised as precocious - her love of language mistaken for mere talent rather than recognised as a neurodivergent trait. These differences, I realise, have less to do with how our brains are wired and more with how society chooses to perceive and label them.”

Simon Holmes

“I pretty much dismissed ADHD in relation to myself many years ago, as a) I don’t exhibit hyperactivity at all, and b) one of my ‘superpowers’ growing up was my ability to focus. So at the surface-level, no attention-deficit or hyperactivity here. Sure, my internal world is quite hyperactive, but so far as I know that’s normal. And although my high level of focus was primarily directed at things I was interested in, it wasn’t enough of a problem or cause of disruption to warrant investigation.

Just last year my sister was researching ADHD for one of her sons and started to go a bit deeper. She came to the realisation that the patterns fit her, me, and our mum. So I started to investigate. One of the great advantages of our time is that we can look beyond the detached medical descriptions of the NHS website, and hear from people who actually live with this. It was these candid, lived experiences that really resonated with me. I’d finally found accurate descriptions of what my life feels like to me, and how I experience the world, even if I portray something different externally. I felt seen. I felt heard. I felt understood. I cannot overstate how powerful that is.

As I delved deeper, it started to explain my longstanding fascination with personal psychology and ‘self-help’ - trying to master productivity, discipline, success, and happiness. Trying to find the key that would help everything make sense, and make life feel like less of a constant battle. It seems that I eventually found it. I was just looking in the wrong place.

I’m not officially diagnosed. I hear that it takes 7 years on the NHS at the moment, which is not exactly motivating. However, I see many of the symptoms in my teenage daughter, and if I can help her have an easier ride of it then I will do whatever I can.”

John Durrant

“My son was diagnosed with Autism a few years ago and in trying to support him I saw so many parallels with his struggles to my own when I was his age, especially the social awkwardness. As well as coping with classroom environments - I hated school, I struggled to process things that were being said, I had my hearing tested many times as I kept saying I couldn’t hear people properly, but my hearing was always fine, it was processing speech that I struggled with as well as filtering out the chaotic cacophony of the classroom. It was only by watching YouTube testimonials of people with autism that I recognised aspects of the lived-experiences in myself. It also led me to the conclusion that my father’s social behaviours seem very close to descriptions of Asperger’s. So maybe this explains my total lack of ‘normal’ communication with my parents, my poor lack of social judgement over the years, especially when just blurting out ‘controversial’ opinions to corporate execs rather than playing a more subtle political game as well as my high sensitivity to environmental noise - ticking clocks, aaaargh!

The main reason for taking such an interest in human psychology and human relationships is that I struggled so much with this stuff as a youngster, and even now I often feel that in social interactions I’m not really ‘present’ - I’m more of a 3rd party observer analysing the interaction rather than being in it, especially when there are several people in a conversation where unless I know them real well I find it exhausting to tune in and actually listen to each person individually.

I don’t feel particularly comfortable self-ascribing an autism label, despite recognising many traits in my experience and behaviour. My wife however feels there is no doubt.”

Definitions

Neurodiversity and neurodivergence are terms which are often used interchangeably, but they have different meanings. Drawing from one of Gemma’s recent LinkedIn posts with a video of her presenting at Women in Tech Birmingham, we’ll paraphrase what she has to say about our definitions and terms:

The term neurodiversity is frequently misused, often due to its relatively recent emergence in mainstream discourse. While this misunderstanding is understandable, it is particularly important to use precise language when discussing historically marginalised groups to avoid perpetuating harm. Neurodiversity refers to the full spectrum of cognitive functioning, encompassing all types of cognition - both neurotypical and neurodivergent. In contrast, neurodivergence describes cognitive functioning that differs from medical or societal expectations. A single individual cannot be neurodiverse, as one cannot simultaneously be neurotypical and neurodivergent; instead, neurodiverse always applies to groups. When referring to an individual, the appropriate terms are either neurodivergent or neurotypical.

Neurodivergence includes conditions such as ADHD, autism, dyslexia, dyspraxia, dyscalculia, Tourette’s syndrome, and other cognitive variations that diverge from typical neurological development. It can also encompass mental health conditions like bipolar disorder or OCD.

Disclaimer

In this article, we are focusing mostly on Autism and ADHD. We want to be clear that we are sharing personal lived experiences and insights and are not formally trained or qualified to give medical opinions or advice.

The unseen lived experience of neurodivergence

Historically, diagnostic criteria in the DSM-5 and NHS guidelines have framed neurodivergent conditions - such as autism and ADHD - primarily in terms of how they affect others, focusing on perceived “problematic” behaviours like inattention, impulsivity, or being socially difficult. This perspective tends to overlook the lived experience of neurodivergent individuals - what it actually feels like to struggle with sensory overload, executive dysfunction, or emotional regulation in ways that are deeply personal and not always outwardly visible.

Gemma observes that neurodivergent people are often seen as different, obtuse, difficult, awkward, ‘too-spacey’, and just ‘too much’ by a neurotypical world despite being valued for creativity, ideas, and divergent thinking. As if neurodivergent people are urged to “be yourself, but just not like that…” She highlights that we all have to live and function in a ‘neurotypical’ world, which is unlikely to adjust, so it’s important for neurodivergent people to be able to self-advocate - to communicate their needs, boundaries, and ways of working in a world that may not naturally accommodate them.

Gemma suggests that so many neurodivergent people have always felt somewhat ‘alien’ to other people, and applauds the fact that with broader acceptance we can now come together to compare experiences. Many people have gone through their lives feeling like they are walking through mud, or as Gemma describes “being unable to run in your dreams”, knowing that you are capable, being told that you have a high IQ, yet seeing other people zooming past you … or being told by a teacher at school “Gemma could do so well, if only she would apply herself.”

Giving people the space to share their lived experiences is so important, and part of what makes a truly inclusive work environment. Here are some of the things that you might not see or be aware of.

The sense of not quite fitting in

Neurodivergent people have spent their whole lives feeling as if they don’t fit in. Depending on their personal insight and how they’ve chosen to adapt, they may have learned to mask their differences, blending in at the cost of their own wellbeing, or like Gemma, they may have chosen to embrace their uniqueness and be themselves - or ‘unmasking’ as Gemma puts it. Other people may be more introverted or avoidant, carving out their own spaces where they can exist authentically.

The need for ‘belonging’ is fundamental to humans as social creatures. It will be a lifelong challenge for a neurodivergent person to balance the tension between belonging socially and being true to themselves.

No, no, no - the childhood experience of negativity

Gemma described how neurodivergent children are told ‘no’ much more often than neurotypical children (up to 20,000 times more, according to some people’s speculations), which makes a huge impact on the way people see themselves, waiting for the next person to tell them they are doing something wrong, and internalising the belief that they are inherently difficult, problematic, or not good enough.

This can lead to heightened self-doubt, anxiety, and a tendency to mask their true selves in order to avoid criticism, shaping how they navigate the world and making them more likely to suppress their natural instincts and conform to expectations that don’t align with their authentic way of being.

The overwhelm of hypersensitivity and awareness

For many neurodivergent people, everyday sensory inputs can be overwhelming. Textures of clothing, itchy tags, the repetitive ticking of a clock, the hum of office fans, or the flicker of fluorescent lights - these seemingly minor stimuli can become sources of constant irritation or even distress. Noise-cancelling headphones can help, but they also highlight the need to actively manage sensory environments, adding another layer of cognitive effort.

Managing cognitive load is vital for the performance of software engineers and when a neurodivergent person is constantly filtering out background stimuli, they are reducing their cognitive capacity for focus, problem-solving, and creativity. This can lead to exhaustion and overwhelm. Managing environmental stimuli is not about pandering to people’s silly whims - it is critical for cognitive function.

The shame of poor time management

It’s not uncommon for neurodivergent people to have difficulties with time management, struggling with consistent routines and "neurotypical" expectations of productivity. Things that seem easy for others, and that the working world revolves around. Yet the neurodivergent brain is not indexed on time, it’s much more likely to be on the task at hand. This is known as timeblindness.

It’s common to be consistently late, or to overcompensate. As Gemma describes, “You either become the neurodivergent person who is overly anxious who arrives early for things, making sure that all the things they’ve previously been told they do wrong they make efforts to do perfectly, or you find yourself at the other end of the scale where chaos reigns, where time is an amorphous blob in the sky…”

She describes how she reverse engineers everything, boiling everything down to discrete steps, working backwards to overly organise things that neurotypical people just take in their stride. So people’s adaptations to their difficulties are often masking their struggles, creating a huge burden to efficiently do ‘simple’ and ordinary things.

The distractive force of waiting mode

While there are many more experiences that categorise Autism and ADHD, an interesting one that Gemma brought up was ‘waiting mode’ where you might have an important appointment at 3pm in the afternoon and feel paralysed with regard to any other tasks during the day.

As Gemma says “I can’t do anything but think about that appointment. IfI get started on something, I know that I can get lost… getting deeply into that project or I just won’t be focusing on it properly. [Anticipating the appointment] interrupts the flow of everything that we do. We spend so much time thinking about it or worrying about something, thinking about all the possibilities just in case all of them happen at once… “

This leads to a kind of shutdown “...and now I just don’t want to deal with people, now I don’t want to speak, I don’t want to interact or participate in the world and just lie down in a darkened room and pretend no one else exists.”

The struggle of prioritising and decision making

Executive dysfunction is a core experience of ADHD but can also affect autistic people who have particularly rigid ways of approaching tasks.

It affects a person’s ability to plan, prioritise, and initiate tasks, making traditional productivity strategies rather useless for many neurodivergent individuals. Unlike neurotypical people, who can instinctively rank tasks by urgency or importance, those with executive dysfunction often perceive all tasks as equally urgent or equally unimportant, leading either to paralysis or a tendency to focus on the most stimulating task rather than the most necessary one. This can result in procrastination, last-minute scrambling, or difficulty completing projects.

Challenges of late diagnosis

Gemma discussed that many adults only discover their neurodivergence after years of struggling to fit into societal norms and expectations. Without a clear understanding of why certain situations feel more challenging than they do for others, they may have a long-standing sense of being "alien" or "broken" compared to their neurotypical peers.

Receiving a diagnosis later in life can prompt a profound reevaluation of past experiences and relationships. It can bring clarity and self-acceptance, helping individuals understand why they have struggled in certain areas. However, it can also lead to grief over missed opportunities, resentment towards those who misunderstood them, or frustration at a lack of earlier support.

Practical advice for neurodivergent people

Gemma shared her advice on setting things up in a way that is helpful to neurodivergent people and things to watch out for.

Start with self-understanding

Gemma observes that neurodivergent people often have a high degree of awareness and self-understanding because that’s how they’ve survived, by studying themselves and other people’s behaviour in the world around them.

On the other hand, she also highlights that neurodivergent people, especially those with a late diagnosis, often don’t understand the support or the environmental conditions they require in order to be at their best.

Understanding your preferences is key - do you need a quiet environment where there are no distractions? For example, Gemma can’t deal with the noise of fans in offices which for other people might be white noise. She feels the noise of the fan in her teeth, a strong visceral reaction.

This self-understanding is likely to be an ongoing learning journey.

Take the next step with radical acceptance

This can be quite challenging and scary on a personal level, especially after years of masking and compensating. This is the step of letting go of the false facade, which we have purposefully erected so that we can fit in and feel accepted. This is the step of accepting our candid self understanding and accepting that is who we are.

Or as Gemma puts it: “Once we've got that understanding, but also the acceptance that we just function in a slightly different way, we can just relax into ourselves and just be OK with who we are… And we have to get over the fact that other people just might not like it.”

Gemma also references her need for downtime after socially and cognitively demanding situations, “which for a long time I wasn't able to accept because everyone else was just getting up to the office, everyone else operated like that. But it's not the way that I operate. And having that radical level of acceptance of ‘this is just how I am’ has been really helpful. It's just how I am and how I function best.”

Build your personal suite of tools

If you’ve been masking or compensating for a while, then you likely already have a good starter pack here. We’re not going to prescribe anything here, as it can be very nuanced and personal, on top of being different for different types of neurodivergence.

For example, people with autism tend to want to create predictability and routine, whereas people with ADHD prefer novelty and variety. And this is where the understanding and acceptance from above come into play. Do you need one rock solid routine and system for prioritising and focusing, or do you need a variety of techniques, models, and apps to pick and choose from?

What about exercise, nutrition, and sleep? Is meditation a silver bullet or a Nutribullet for your mind? What helps you recover from overwhelm? What helps prevent overwhelm in the first place?

Figuring out what’s in your personal suite of tools really helps with the next part - self-advocacy.

Be your own advocate

Self-advocacy involves communicating your needs and preferences to others so you can navigate environments that often default to neurotypical expectations. This improves your chances of getting support in making adjustments to your environment to help you perform at your best, as well as challenging assumptions about your cognitive differences.

We all have different comfort levels regarding what we wish to disclose about our needs and abilities so it is vital that as managers and colleagues, we try to create open and comfortable spaces for dialogue so that people who need to self-advocate for themselves can do so more readily.

“I want to look like the back end of a bus, and I don't want anybody to judge me for it.”

Gemma Rodgers

As Gemma comments on self-advocacy: “We have to advocate for ourselves and we just have to have that deep self-knowing and deep self-acceptance that that's just how it's going to be. And once you do have that I think it makes it much easier as an individual to bring it up to the people that you're working around and say ‘Hey look, appreciate we've got this three-day event, I'm happy to be there for that, but I'm going to need this day afterwards to just not be a person okay? Just don't book meetings with me then; I don't want to be on a phone call’... even things like I don't want to put my video on on a Zoom call because I just want to be natural, I want to have a face that looks like a slapped arse, right? I want to look like the back end of a bus, and I don't want anybody to judge me for it.”

Advice for managers and colleagues

Be curious and compassionate

Creating workplaces that bring out the best in people all starts with being curious about the experiences of other people. It’s never possible to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes, but we can empathise, we can ask questions, we can inquire.

Learn about the experiences of other people

Listening to the experiences of a peer, a manager, or a subordinate - experimenting with them, giving them the space to be themselves, and the support they need in order to share - is vital to creating a work environment that is actually experienced as inclusive, rather than being mandated as inclusive via a top-down HR initiative.

There is no one set of conditions that will suit everyone, and the conditions that suit a person one day, may not suit them the next as their emotional and cognitive worlds change, but by being curious about the needs of neurodivergent people we end up being curious about the needs of everyone, and how to do things in a way that helps all of us.

As Gemma says when talking about going over the top with detail when organising events or meetings, thinking empathically to help neurodivergent people by reducing their internal checklists of steps to run through “It takes something off somebody else’s plate… Once it is done it benefits the entire company - it helps people, whether or not you are neurodivergent. It’s about creating inclusive environments that actively help everybody, including your most vulnerable people… That creates the culture that you want.”

Encourage open, non-judgemental communication

As Gemma suggests, “If you are looking to be an inclusive workplace, think mostly about how you communicate with other people. For me, it is about having quite radical conversations with my management.”

She adds that she is lucky where she works. In her workplace, there are several people who are quite open with their personal experiences of neurodivergence, and she has worked to make that “more okay and more open”. The person who owns and runs the company is open about being dyslexic, which encourages dialogue.

Avoid ambushing

Neurodivergent people often hate the feeling of being ambushed, so with regard to meetings, don’t say, “Have you got 5 minutes for a meeting?” that could freak people out. “Am I going to get fired? What have I done? Who have I upset?”

Instead, if you want to meet someone, then tell them what it’s about upfront - provide clear info and details upfront so people don’t then struggle with the social risk of having to ask for it. Take these concerns away from people by going over the top with the preparation - what’s the meeting for, what’s the dress code, what about parking…? This will help to give a neurodivergent person a degree of solace and control and reduce their internal checklist about the meeting.

Create a flexible work environment

It’s probably becoming quite clear that providing the best conditions for a team to thrive is not a one-size-fits-all deal. Although neurodivergent people have been working overtime in order to fit in, being more flexible to their needs and preferences will help them - and by extension your team - to thrive.

Be flexible on home vs office

Gemma mentions that she struggles working at home with so many distractions, and so many things that need to be done around the house, that she can’t concentrate on her work. She thrives in an office environment where “everyone is there to work”. It creates guardrails, which she likens to being in an exam hall: “You know that you are there to do an exam because everyone else around you is also there to do an exam.”

She recognises that many other neurodivergent people perform better in the safety and comfort of their homes. The key is to offer flexible work environments (home vs. office) based on individual needs.

Establish individual communication preferences

Gemma stresses the importance of asking questions such as “How do you prefer to work? How do you want to be communicated with? Do you prefer emails?”

Don’t just make assumptions based on your own preferences. Find out how people feel and react differently; for some, even a phone call can be triggering.

Allowing for ‘potato days’

Neurotypicals can generally operate easily with the structured weekday/weekend ebb and flow of life, delaying recovery and reset times to the weekends. For individuals with ADHD or autism, this delay is often not possible. The effort required to navigate neurotypical environments can be exhausting, and “potato days” are vital for recovery after periods of intense focus, social interaction, or sensory overload.

Gemma stresses the importance of understanding our natural ebbs and flows “And it's that sort of sense of knowing that you're going to be on at some points and at some points you just need to not be a person, just be a potato, just let the potato rest, you know… ”

Final Thoughts

Neurodivergence is highly prevalent in software engineering. Gemma, Simon, and John have all worked alongside colleagues who have either been formally diagnosed or engaged in personal self-inquiry to better understand their experiences. Each person navigates the world of work in their own way - some openly discuss their challenges, while others prefer not to, and while some have a deep understanding of their own needs, others are still figuring them out.

Despite growing awareness, neurodivergence remains widely misunderstood. Misconceptions and mischaracterisations persist, often fueled by clickbaity tabloid articles that downplay ADHD as “not real” or frame autism and other neurodivergent conditions as overdiagnosed excuses for laziness. These narratives muddy the waters, making it harder for neurodivergent individuals to be taken seriously and access the support they need. Recognising and challenging these misunderstandings is crucial for creating truly inclusive workplaces where diverse ways of being are valued rather than dismissed.

Perhaps the gem of Gemma’s many insights is to take each day as it comes, “accepting the fact that some days you're gonna be great and some days you're not going to be great and being okay with it.”